To feel trapped is like suffocating, you are not only begging for air but you contemplate if this is the end. This is it, my life ends here. Then you fade into nothing. You love him so much it hurts, your heart skips a beat when he smiles at you and when he kisses you. God help you if you don’t pass out from him taking your breath away.
But there’s a little voice in the back of your head. For years you suppressed its headings and warnings. “Be careful”, “He’s dangerous”. As time passes though that voice isn’t whispering, its speaking, then before you can hush it, it screams. You try to cover your ears, the echoes rattle your body and your shaking. You can’t breathe, someone is sitting on your chest and you feel the blood rushing to your face with rivers of tears soaking every kind of tissue within reach.
You gave your heart and soul to him, you change your life around his because you would do whatever it took to please him. No matter the outcome he will always have a part of you wither you like it or not.
He broke you, you’ve lost yourself. His thoughts become yours, his beliefs and actions become yours. You become what he wants, you’re his pet. He trained you and now you know nothing else.
How do you find yourself? Who are you? What have you become? Your family warned you and begged you to see it how it really was. But the trance he has you in consumes you entirely.
Being who you are inside is the most important thing in life. But yet you can’t find yourself, you don’t recognize the person looking back at you.
You are me. And I am you.
I am lost.